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I’m putting all my money in cryptocurrencies!

Cryptocurrencies just zoom up in value. It’s awesome. A $5,000 cryptocurrency investment today could be worth twice that in a month! Meanwhile, old school losers speculate in boring currencies like the dollar, hoping for wee little gains. How lame is that? Plus cryptocurrencies are encrypted and hidden, so, bwa ha ha, no one knows what you are doing. You can use your cryptocurrency to buy drugs, guns, and mayhem on Dark Web sites like Alphabay. How totally great is that!

Oh wait, Alphabay just went dark (ha ha, a little pun there), shut down by law enforcement, and the presumed mastermind behind it just committed suicide in a Bangkok jail. So, the $3.5 million in cryptocurrency it had escrowed just vaporized.

But cryptocurrencies themselves are stable, right? Well, no, they skitter all over the place, screaming up in value then crashing spectacularly.

Ethereum has collapsed 52% in four weeks.
Ripple has collapsed 57% in seven weeks.
Bitcoin has plunged “only” 21% in one month.

Between these top three crypto coins, about $35 billion in “wealth” has returned to the ether in two months.

Be sure to get in on comically named Initial Coin Offerings where you can buy vapor. Nothing could go wrong.

EOS collapses 70% in eight days. Another illustrative example further down the list, the 11th largest crypto coin by market cap came out of nowhere on July 1 via an “Initial Coin Offering” – similar to an IPO but without regulations, required disclosures, filings, etc. It’s a free-for-all. Unlike an IPO, an ICO offers no ownership of the company. The tokens are all you get.

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