School security plan that can not possibly fail

Dudley_Do-Right

Lieutenant:  All right men, gather around, I’m going to brief you on my new school security plan.

Sergeant:  We’re all here sir.

Lieutenant:  <Pointing to sand table model of school> Bad guys with guns will try to come in through unlocked doors and easy to reach flimflam windows here, here, here, here, here and here. Teachers are good guys. They will be given guns. The only thing that can stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun. Any questions?

Private #1:   Um sir, why not lock the doors and obscure the windows like we do here at the base?

Sergeant: Shut up private, if you want to get paid to think then go to OCS so you can be a lieutenant too. Besides, you heard the lieutenant; the only thing that can stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.

Lieutenant: <sounds like Dudley Do-Right> That’s right men, I just got back from intensive training at ACME think tank who just got the contract to do all the thinking for the Pentagon. They taught us that the only thing that can stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.

Private #2: So no tear gas, no sandbags, and no concrete barriers? No perimeter fence or controlled entry?

Lieutenant: <with mocking sissy voice> Private numbskull here wants something to hide behind like a perimeter fence or a concrete barrier. <Infomercial voice returns> ACME think tank has determined that all that stuff is little sissy boy nonsense that won’t work and that the only thing that will stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.

Corporal: Sir, what about bad guys who make their way in as substitute teachers or what about teachers who have a bad day and become a bad guy?

Lieutenant: Nonsense Corporal Brainiac, that’s impossible.

”¦..to be continued.