Will a pinstripe hoodie mollify whiny Wall Streeters?

A pinstriped hoodie is just the thing to wear when doing a pre-IPO dog-and-pony show to inbred, self-absorbed NY investment bankers who get their panties in a twist if you don’t look and act like them. Lord, what a tiny little world they live in. You can round out your ensemble with Dress Pants Sweatpants.

Better yet, do what Mark Zuckerberg did and wear what you always do. Screw the whiny pinhead class on Wall Street. Besides, they’ll be in such greed and lust for IPO money they’ll stab their grandmothers to get it. But they will almost certainly endeavor to wear the Right Clothes when they kill granny. Amoral thuggery is most certainly encouraged on Wall Street but make sure your clothes match their quaint, archaic fashion sense lest you be ostracized.