Extreme Black Friday shopping comes to reality TV

Cable TV is all abuzz with exciting news about potential reality shows based around Black Friday shopping and roller derby. Shoppers are given pepper spray and shopping carts, which they can weaponize. The bargains will be way in the back of the store. Aisles will be strategically blocked or made slippery by pouring vegetable oil on them.

Here’s the kicker. The bargain items won’t have price tags on them! But whoever loads their cart with the highest value merch and gets to the checkout stand wins. And yes, stealing and ramming other carts is allowed.

It’ll be a real laff riot watching these ignorant proles fight and tear gas each other in desperate attempts to save a few pennies and possibly win the big cash prize.