The U.S. Homeland Security Department said Monday its “If You See Something, Say Something” campaign has been expanded to Walmart stores across the country” after starting in the New York City MTA. Imagine my excitement.
Dale Sommers just said on his Roaddog Trucking talk show (Sirius 147), it’s guaranteed someone will be walking down the street, ask a 7 yo girl for directions, then someone will decide he could be a terrorist or pedophile and report him, where he will languish in detention for a while.
He also said asking Walmart customers to be alert for terrorism is dumb because most of them (and us) have no idea what to look for and have no training.
He calls himself “The Truckin’ Bozo” but is anything but. This is also true of most of the talk shows on Road Dog Trucking, high quality and intelligent. Seriously.
I’m undecided as the whether this is just another HSA overkill clusterfuck or a deliberate attempt to scare, intimidate, and monitor us. However, since one should “never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity,” I’ll go with the clusterfuck.
This plan is really quite condescending, isn’t it? Like most of us don’t already have the smarts to call authorities if we spotted some genuinely suspicious? I would. I bet you would too. Besides, if HSA genuinely wants help from the citizenry, it should tell us what to look for.
HSA people: Terrorists shopping at Walmart!
No, wait, that doesn’t make sense.
Terrorists people at Walmart, HSA shopping?
No, wait.
Walmart, people, terrorists, shopping at HSA?
No, wait.
At HSA, terrorists shopping Walmart people?
No, wait!
HSA shopping terrorists at Walmart, people.
There, I knew I’d figure it out.
I feel SO much safer knowing the People of Walmart (and I am one) are monitoring the aisles at stores and patrolling their communities looking for evildoers. Truly, if al Qaeda were to strike in the US, a Walmart store would surely be their first target.
Actually if Al Queda was a serious threat and we were really their enemy, Wal-Mart would be their target. Because if you want to cripple the U.S., you don’t go after a battleship or a symbolic building– you make its people afraid to shop.
Oh, wait– HSA is doing that for them.
Which just makes you wonder who the real enemy is.
I am deeply terrified that terrorists are hiding behind the yogurt in Walmart.