Nuke the oil blowout? The worst idea in the history of history

Yee-haw, says Slim Pickens, let's nuke it.

As the latest effort to plug the oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico meets with failure, the idea of nuking the immediate area to seal the oil underground is gaining steam among some energy experts and researchers.

One prominent energy expert known for predicting the oil price spike of 2008 says sending a small nuclear bomb down the leaking well is “probably the only thing we can do” to stop the leak.

This is the WORST idea in the history of history. Why?

1. Because underground nukes vent, “producing considerable amounts of radioactive debris as a consequence. Underground testing can result in seismic activity depending on the yield of the nuclear device and the composition of the medium it is detonated in, and generally result in the creation of subsidence craters.”

In conventional underground tests, a nuclear device is lowered into a contained bore hole (one that has no fissures, vents, cracks, or other routes to the surface), and then is packed with gravel and plugged with coal tar. Brookings Institutes notes that “this procedure failed to contain the radioactivity from tests about one-third of the time.”

BP’s well is said to have fissures, vents and cracks. Would the coal tar plug work at that depth, or under water?

2. It will make the underground oil reserve, and possibly the seabed, radioactive. Any oil leaking out as a consequence of BP’s actions or as a consequence of the nuclear bomb would be radioactive. Anyone else tapping into that reserve would pull out radioactive oil.

Either way, radioactive particles would also be carried on the currents. Radioactive debris would float all over the gulf region, possibly into the Atlantic, causing widespread damage to the environment and illness in all animals it came in contact with. This would make cleaning up the oil spill vastly more complicated.