Former Masters of the Universe want to become Street Fighting Men


Wall Streeters can get special lessons in “How To Kill” at an upcoming Vegas seminar.

I guess they’re feeling like targets lately, what with the rising tide of populism and anger against them. And to think they used to be Masters of the Universe. In a forgotten era long ago, they once were actually admired and respected. Yes, I know that’s hard to believe.

Well, as my Krav Maga (the martial art of the Israeli military) instructor once said, all the martial arts in the world don’t help if they shoot you from 20 feet away or hit you from behind with a baseball bat. Besides, street confrontations happen so fast you often have no time to plan or react. Investment bankers aren’t used to being punched in the face, street fighters are. Guess which one will hit harder and faster.

Strange times indeed, when investment bankers are taking seminars to learn how to counter life-threatening attacks.