Federal Bailout Application Form

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Sue and I have been considering starting the Bank of BobSue, immediately borrowing huge amounts of money and squandering it on highly leveraged flaky “investments”, then whining to Hank “I Never Met a Bank I Wouldn’t Toss Billions At” Paulson for a loan of $10bn or so to tide things over while we pay ourselves performance bonuses. Tragically though, we just aren’t failures at such an exalted level nor are we amoral or thuggish enough.

From Vanity Fair.