U.S. admits to paying Iraqi newspapers

The U.S. military in Iraq today acknowledged paying to place news articles in Iraqi publications, saying the practice was a necessary part of "information operations" to counter extensive "propaganda" by insurgents.

When asked if bribing journalists to publish slanted stories written for them wasn’t also propaganda, a Pentagon spokesperson snarled, ‘you love the terrorists and hate freedom, don’t you?’

Later in the press conference, the military announced an bold new initiative, Operation Slithering Weasel, which will "bring democracy and freedom to Iraq" by blowing all news outlets and replacing them with imbedded reporters from Fox News who will only report Happy News previously ok’ed by the Pentagon.