Guidelines for Cats

For those of us owned by our cats, James Huggins has some useful guidelines to help us understand them. Here’s a few excerpts.

As often as possible, dart quickly and as close as possible in front of the human, especially on stairs, when they have something in their arms, in the dark, and when they first get up in the morning. This will help their coordination skills.

Harry, are you listening. When I wake up in the morning and stumble towards the coffee maker when it’s still dark, running between my legs is just not a good idea – for either one of us.

This game must be played with at least one other cat. The more, the merrier! One or both of the sleeping humans is Hill 303 which must be defended at all costs from the other cat(s). Anything goes. This game allows for the development of unusual tactics as one must take the unstable playing theater into account.

However, in our house the top of the bed at night is Property of Joey. He sleeps on top of me and will attack any feline interlopers who dare get on the bed.

Humans have three primary functions: to feed us, to play with and give attention to us, and to clean the litter box. It is important to maintain one’s Dignity when around humans so that they will not forget who is the master of the house. Humans need to know basic rules. They can be taught if you start early and are consistent.