SCO to sue over unauthorized use of earth’s resources

This important announcement just in from an EFF newsletter!

Lindon, UT - On the heels of its campaign against users of the Free Software program Linux, the SCO Group today announced that it will begin a new round of lawsuits against users of other free resources, including fire, water, air and land.

“People think they can just use free things without paying for them,” said SCO CEO Daryl McBribe. “This kind of ’socialism’ is anti-American and a violation of the Constitution. It’s up to corporations like SCO to crush that kind of idealism.”

Added Daryl’s other brother Daryl, “Yeah, what he said.”

SCO plans to offer a generous and reasonable licensing program for Earth’s remaining natural resources with prices as low as $700 per carbon-based life form.

“We think once people realize how much money it takes to fund lawsuits…er…um. I mean, innovation, they will happily sign up,” said McBribe

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Bush Admin releases Evildoers List

The long-awaited list of “Evildoer Nations Doing Evil Evilly” was announced today by the Bush Administration, prompting consternation from critics who noted that only one nation, England, was not listed as a Evildoer.

A White House spokesperson acknowledged this, saying that all of continental Europe has fallen under the growing influence of Evildoers, adding if Tony Blair’s government ever fell, the U.S. would have no allies left, but “who cares, we have the biggest guns so we will crush them all like the impudent bugs they are,” then cackling fiendishly, before being hurriedly led off the stage by concerned aides.

France was singled out for special opprobrium as a nation “that should be doing what we tell them without any yap-yap but instead would be real Evildoers if they weren’t such wussies.” When told that, without the help of the French in the U.S. Revolutionary War, we would have almost certainly lost to the British, a high-ranking White House staffer said, “tax cuts for the wealthy will stop terrorism and slap those Frenchies upside their heads too.”

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Google Copernicus Center is hiring

This just in:

Google is interviewing candidates for engineering positions at our lunar hosting and research center, opening late in the spring of 2007. This unique opportunity is available only to highly-qualified individuals who are willing to relocate for an extended period of time, are in top physical condition and are capable of surviving with limited access to such modern conveniences as soy low-fat lattes, The Sopranos and a steady supply of oxygen.

The Google Copernicus Hosting Environment and Experiment in Search Engineering (G.C.H.E.E.S.E.) is a fully integrated research, development and technology facility at which Google will be conducting experiments in entropized information filtering, high-density high-delivery hosting (HiDeHiDeHo) and de-oxygenated cubicle dwelling. This center will provide a unique platform from which Google will leapfrog current terrestrial-based technologies and bring information access to new heights of utility.

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Radiation and tobacco are good for you, too

Outsourcing actually creates U.S. jobs, study finds, uh huh.

<via Deep Audit>

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Bush adviser: Iraq war launched to protect Israel

Inter Press Services reports that Philip Zelikow, executive director of the National Commission on Terrorist Attacks Upon the United States, AKA the “9/11 Commission, “suggests a prime motive for the invasion just over one year ago was to eliminate a threat to Israel, a staunch U.S. ally in the Middle East.”

“Zelikow’s casting of the attack on Iraq as one launched to protect Israel appears at odds with the public position of President George W. Bush and his administration, which has never overtly drawn the link between its war on the regime of former president Hussein and its concern for Israel’s security.”

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Greg Palast on the upcoming election

Palast is the investigative reporter who broke the original story of how Florida purged nearly 100,000 Black voters from the voting polls, thus making them ineligible to vote and insuring Dubya would win.

How will they steal the election?

There is something called the Help America Vote Act that our president signed a year and a half ago. As soon as the Bush family tells us they’re going to help us vote I get very nervous. And sure enough, it is filled with expanding the purge of voters they did in Florida. Instead of eliminating that horror show, that racial voter pogrom, they’re going to take it on the road nationwide.

The second thing they’re going to do is provide billions of dollars to force states to computerize voting. I have some other angles that no one else has picked up yet. It’s a creepy story, and hopefully you’ll get fightin’ mad.

They did a test run when Katherine Harris put computer touch screens in Broward County in Florida. In the black precincts the computers went down, and thousands and thousands of black votes were never counted in machines ordered by Katherine Harris, made by an evil little company called iVotronics ES&S. That was a test run not to see that they worked but to see that they didn’t work at the right place.

So they did their test run and now they’re going to take it on the road. And what you’re going to see is a massive non-count of black votes.

The biggest danger is the strategic breakdown of machines that will cause the non-vote in strategic precincts. That’s what happened in Broward, where the machines were first tested. That’s what will happen nationwide. Watch.

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Google to provide free web mail and 1 gb of storage!

Google Inc., the world’s No. 1 Internet search provider, said on Wednesday it will begin testing a free search-based e-mail product called Gmail.

The new service, which goes live Thursday at www.gmail.com, will automatically organize e-mail according to topic and allow users to search all their e-mail — including sender, text and subject lines — in the same way they search the Web.

Mountain View, California-based Google also will provide one gigabyte of storage to free account holders.

Note: The site isn’t live yet. However, you can sign up to be notified when it is.

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Worse Than Watergate: The Secret Presidency of George W. Bush

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Jeez Bill, why are you shipping software with ANY serious flaws?

Microsoft Corp. co-founder Bill Gates said yesterday that improvements in software design and testing are cutting the number of serious flaws in its products.

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