Talking Turkey

Talking Turkey

Drat those uppity Turks. How dare their parliament vote against King George the Mad’s desire to station hundreds of thousands of troops in their country simply because 90% of Turkish citizens oppose an Iraq war.

The Brits say the answer is simple, raise the amounts of the bribes. What a refreshingly straightforward approach.

“But Britain remains confident that Turkey will eventually come on board. “I suppose there will have to be a few more noughts added to the cheque,” one Whitehall source said. “Every man has his price.”

Lest any think this setback will slow down King George’s mad dash to war, fear not, he will not be letting reality intrude.

“But no one at the White House suggests — either on the record or off — that Mr. Bush will be deterred for a moment by the prospect that the military will not be able to divide Mr. Hussein’s forces along two borders, north and south.

“There is apprehension but no panic,” one senior official said today.

“There’s a Plan B,” the official said. “It’s messier. It’s more complicated. But it’s not likely to slow the president.”

As for those blasted French who are threatening to veto a UN resolution of war.

“Even if France vetoes a new United Nations Security Council resolution on Iraq, America would still wage war against Saddam Hussein, <Richard Perle> a top Pentagon adviser was quoted as saying Sunday.”