Thank You, Britney Spears

Thank You, Britney Spears

Dear Britney: Thank you for demonstrating the sanctity of heterosexual marriage, and for finally making me realize how allowing me to marry my same-sex partner would threaten an institution you, and so many other heterosexuals, hold in such high, sacred regard.

The tedious thing is that in, oh, 5-10 years, she will no doubt make the round of talk shows thrilling us with how she recovered from drug addiction or anorexia or whatever it is that is causing her to act bizarrely. 

I mean, a one day marriage is NOT a good career move and indicates, um, a certain instability, does it not?

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