From the website:

what point did the carving of pumpkins turn into a “cute” event? When
did boys stop carving pumpkins and moms start? Where did we lose touch
with one of the years coolest events?

Today we will seize back this ritual.
Today is the day we throw away those safe, cute carving tools. Today.
We will buy a big, ugly, pumpkin so large one man cannot lift or move
it. Today. We will carve that sumbitch into something ugly and plop it
on the front porch. October 31st we will light it brightly enough to
give visiting children suntans.

And while we’re at it, let’s bring back cherry bombs
and M-80’s. My friends and I exploded lots of them when we were kids. A
cherry bomb tossed inside a hollowed out pumpkin makes quite a
satisfying mess. No one ever got hurt. And, gasp, we even rode bicycles
without helmets too.

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