JP Morgan loses $2 billion on risky trade

JP Morgan stock is crashing as a result and the rest of the financial worlds is nervous too. But fear not, JPM CEO Jamie Dimon is sure to call up his old Chicago pal Barack Obama and tell him to send more bailout money.

Oh wait, didn’t JPM already get billions in bailout money? Apparently they spent it on risky trades and lunatic speculating rather than, y’know, helping the economy and business, or silly things like that.

JPM is saying their $2 billion loss was a hedge position. This is rubbish. With a hedge you have an offsetting trade. This was deranged speculation that was so huge it was known as the London Whale.