On the Birthers

You probably think this birth certificate is valid, don't you, you porr ignorant non-Birther fool.
You probably think this birth certificate is valid, don't you, you poor ignorant non-Birther fool.

From the always wonderful Colin McEnroe at the Hartford Courant

The death-eaters birthers have got me thinking. There are a number of people whose birth certificates have never been produced:

John Travolta
Rachel Ray
Dr. Phil
Pat Robertson
Jessica Simpson
Carrot Top

Where are the birth certificates of these people? What are they hiding?

Actually, Barack Obama is the only famous person whose birth certificate I HAVE seen. If it were any more ubiquitous, it would be decoupaged onto shower curtains.

Psst. my very own birth certificate does not have my name on the front of it. It was written on the back a few days later. I imagine Birthers would have a screeching hissy fit over that, should I ever run for office.

(I was born six weeks premature in an era when that was life-threatening. They didn’t know for a week if I’d live and had way more important things to worry about than my name on the birth certificate. But to a Birther, I guess that puts the legitimacy of my birth certificate into Serious Doubt – when they’re not hallucinating that black helicopters are following them, that is. Or foaming in rage because a Black man is president.)


  1. If there were any real questions about the legitimacy of Obama’s birth, I figure the Hillary campaign would have been all over them. After all, that would have eliminated the biggest impediment to another Clinton White House.

  2. Except there was probably a secret agreement between Obama & Hillary, signed in the blood of a stolen (white American) baby that had been sacrificed upside down on a Satanic altar, so that Hillary just APPEARED to be viciously attacking Obama, all the while knowing in advance that he would get the nomination for those unGodly Democrats, and that she would sit at his left hand…

    All over New England I saw bumper stickers npoting the date “1/20/09”– and a few noting the date “1/20/13” (Obama’s “last day”). We don’t have those here in Utah– I guess Obama-hating is just not that popular a hobby in this GOP haven.

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