Secret transcript of Bush-Obama meeting

Bush seeks meeting with Obama

Bush: So Osama, or whatever your name is, we’re here to talk about important things.

Obama: It’s “Obama”, not “Osama.” But, yes, the country needs leadership and a plan to end the financial crisis now.

Bush: Heh, heh. Well, that wasn’t quite what I meant. So, tell me… how do you feel about pardons?

Obama: Do you mean you want to say “pardon me,” then apologize for calling me Osama?

Bush: No. I’m the Decider. We don’t apologize.

Obama: That’s only works if you’re never wrong. So then, what do you want?

Bush: Um, blanket immunity and a pardon for any crimes I might have committed but didn’t.

Obama: That statement makes no sense. If you didn’t do them, then you don’t need a pardon.

Bush: Well, just on the off chance that maybe I did something someone might think was indictable, then I’d like a pardon from you once you become president.

Obama: Why should I do that?

Bush: Um…


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