From Lying Media Bastards

About half of the human population has breasts, and nearly all of the human population has nipples. One of these 12 billion nipples appeared on TV this weekend, and it was the most horrific and controversial event in the history of mankind.

Forget the rictin in the Senate, forget the insurgents in Iraq, forget the ballooning budget deficit – let’s focus on what’s really important! 

Here is the offending nipple, if’n you’re interested. It appears to be wearing a neat li’l metallic nipple sombrero.

I hasten to add that those possibly offended by the sight of an adult female nipple should, I dunno, go view the completely acceptable photos of the latest bombing in Iraq since no one seems to squawk much about multilated bodies being shown on network TV. 

If America were a society of grown-ups, this would not matter a bit. We’ve all got bodies with similar parts, we’re all naked underneath our clothes, nudity of any kind shouldn’t be a big deal. But no, we’re apparently a society of idiot screaming children who find nipples–the part of the body that nourishes growing infants in their early stages of life–to be vulgar and offensive.

On the other hand, Western culture has managed to sexualize everything even slightly related to women, which means that displaying parts of a woman’s body is a sexual act. Showing sex acts on TV in front of the children?! Disgusting.

Sometimes I think about living in a cave, far far away from other people. But then I’d only have two nipples to look at, and that’s just not enough.