(From reader Jean. Promoted from the comments to On Moving to Cedar City. Here’s the first 7. Read them all.)
1. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.
2. Turn your cap right, your head ain’t crooked.
3. Let’s get this straight: it’s called a “gravel road.” I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you’re gonna get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
4. They are cattle. That’s why they smell to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don’t like it? I-80 goes east and west, I-15 goes north and south. Pick one.
5. So you have a $60,000 car. We’re impressed. We have $250,000 combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year.
6. Every person in the Wild West waves. It’s called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.
7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of geese/ pheasants/ ducks/ doves are comin’ in during the hunts, we WILL shoot it outa your hand. You better hope you don’t have it up to your ear at the time.