Kinky Friedman for governor: “How hard can it be?”
Kinky Friedman — novelist, humorist, essayist — thinks he might want to be the next governor of Texas.
But if Lance Armstrong and Willie Nelson stay out of the race, you’re probably talking to the next governor of Texas,” he said last week by phone from his ranch near Medina in southwest Texas.
He quickly added, “Don’t forget, man’s ability to delude himself is infinite.”
Friedman said the best governor Texas ever had was the first one. “It was Sam Houston, and when he was elected they found him drunk under a bridge sleeping with Indians.”
Kinky first lept to fame in the 70’s with his “regressive country” band, Kinky Friedman and the Texas Jewboys whose most memorable song was perhaps “Get Your Biscuits in the Oven and Your Buns in Bed” which endeared him to feminists everywhere.
The Official Monster Raving Loony Party
Too bad this isn’t Britain, then Kinky could run as a member of the Official Monster Raving Loony Party, which was started by in the 50’s by the inspirational and god-like Screaming Lord Sutch. It is an official registered party in the United Kingdom!
The platform of the OMRLP includes such novel ideas as:
To prevent a fuel crisis and help farmers we will work together with Volkswagen to produce a new car which runs on farmyard effluent. We propose to call this new car the ‘Dung Beetle’.
Any MP whose constituency sells off a school playing field to developers will be required to relinquish his/her own back garden as a replacement sports facility for the school.
Anyone using a mobile phone in public will be in danger of being ‘silly stringed’. Any member of the public will, at their own convenience and pleasure, be able to carry and use at their discretion cans of squirty silly string on anyone they hear using a mobile phone.
All fast food burger outlets will be banned under the trading standards act. Its not beef in those burgers, it’s cardboard.
With a bit of googling, I discover a brave soul in Florida has started the United States National OMRLP! Finally, A political party in the U.S. that dares to say what we’ve all suspected for years – that politicians are mad as hatters – even if Floridians are, yet again, trying to steal the political nutcase crown from California. Well they can’t have it! We just elected Arnold!! Phhfft Florida, and we await the festivities of the 2004 election.